So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
