I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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