Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
