I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
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she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize