I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize