woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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