btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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