Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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