Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
