we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
