I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize