i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
