I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
