i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You don't make any sense
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