I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
