And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
