Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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