I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
