She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
