Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
