Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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