Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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