my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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