You work out of a Hotel?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
