you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
