ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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