My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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