i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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