Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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