talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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