Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
