i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i think i have two assholes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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