how hairy? two words: wookie tits
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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