There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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