i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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