Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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