i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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