There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
