Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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