hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
