What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
