If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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