What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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