so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
