My underwear smells like fireworks.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
