walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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