he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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