I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
