this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
