Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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