That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
