no, he came in my armpit
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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