i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
