I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
