I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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