and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I understand Curling. That high.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
