if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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