just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
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Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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