where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
